Sunday, November 13, 2011

An Emotional Shield Softens

Our clothes shield our physical bodies... what about our emotional body?  How do we hide that which we feel so deeply?  Maybe the better question is... why?

I'm in the midst of a divorce... hoping it will be final before the new year.  Through this two year journey, I have been on an extreme emotional roller-coaster.  I can see the positive that has come from this relationship ending.  I honor my growth as a woman, a friend and a lover.  I also embrace those emotions that I wish I never felt... anger, sadness, despair, unworthiness, fear and deep sorrow.  Oh but to express these to another... makes me feel guilty, even ashamed.  The thought that I may bring the other person down by sharing my "negativity" stops me or causes hesitation.  

What has surprised me most in this journey... when I let down my guard... when I share how I feel... that is when I truly open to love, my vulnerability becomes strength.  By authentically expressing myself, I give others an opportunity to truly be my friend not just the person I chat with here and there.

I am honoring my truth and have allowed my voice to be heard.  This has not been an easy task but one that I continue to work on.  My emotional body may never release its guard completely but it has found space... my spirit free.